Time, Money, Duties and Relationships, part 1: Time & Duties

There are two Boy Scout merit badges, which are Eagle required, that Korbin is just about finished with. (They only lack signatures from the counselor.) Personal Management delves into time and money management, whereas Family Life incorporates the management of household duties and relationships. These two badges are a couple of the more in-depth badges that take dedicated time (roughly 3 months) to complete. I like that these badges are Eagle required, as these skills are important and don’t come naturally. I could use a refresher course myself! Couldn’t we all? 

There are people who seem to have at least one of these life aspects all worked out. They manage well at least one of their time, money, duties, or relationships, but I wonder if those people feel they have it as together as it appears from the outside. If you think I’m one of these people, then I would say looks can be deceiving. We all have issues. I cannot help but be transparent. None of these areas is all worked out for me. I do my best to lay it before the feet of Jesus and just do the best I can. I feel like life is ever-changing, and we are meant to continue learning as long as we are here on this earth. Some things I stood by five years ago seem silly to me now. It’s not that they are, but I have moved past that place and have built upon it. It helped me at the time and I wouldn't be where I am now if I had not been in that place. Perhaps it is foundational to my current situation. 

One (simple) example of such a thing is the Flylady website. Fourteen years ago the points on that site guided much of what I did- how I managed my time (“You can do anything for 15 minutes”), some of how I viewed relationships (how your mess is not your babies’ fault), and the tools she sells are pretty awesome (I use my stainless steel water bottle to this day).  I don’t frequent the website the way I did before, only visiting here and there to order some more tools or a calendar. However, it was so useful at the time. 

Last week I found another website, that while on the whole was disappointing, I gleaned something from it that was revolutionary in my mind. It is called the 30 second rule. “If it can be done in 30 seconds, do it immediately!” For you super tidy and organized folks, this is probably a no-brainer, but for someone like I, who have had life-long issues with clutter, it is spectacular. I have a really bad habit of setting things down. Sometimes things are lost because it was set down without thinking; most often I turn around after a project or putting together a meal and find that “somebody” made a big mess behind me. It’s aggravating, because I don’t even realize I’m doing it at the time. I’ve also heard of the OHIO principle (Only Handle It Once), where you get it, use it, put it up. However, for some reason, the 30 second rule is helping me for the moment. 

All that to say- your mess really catches up to you in a smaller space!! Granted, in a smaller space, it is quicker to get it under control, but this is where clutter can choke you out. Homeschooling puts a new spin on the matter. There are books everywhere (and I just bought 2 last week, 1 the week before, and 9 before that! (Six were part of a boxed set for Kailyn that she will store at grandma’s when she completes it.) I’m a bit of a book addict. So it’s been messy. And that stresses me out. We are learning ways to cope with the small space as a family. I'll talk about that in a minute.

Time is one of those things we just cannot get back and time management has never been an area of strength for me. Our week is full, but I realize this is a season and I have two high school students who don't yet drive. After Korbin’s Eagle project is complete, we’ll enroll him in driver’s ed, which upon completion, should free my time quite nicely. 

Here’s a sample of our week:

Mon: 
       meet with another family to share projects and grade papers in history/literature/bible

       Boy Scouts (monthly: committee meeting for Jeff and me)

Tue:
       American Sign Language for Kailyn- 45 minute drive one way

       AHG (every 2 weeks- I’m a unit leader)

Wed:
       Chiropractor appointments (K&K) 

small groups at night (weekly bible study group for K&K)

Thur:
       Kailyn babysits 9-1

Cub scouts (I’m a den leader)

My class (I’m starting a new class this week!)

Fri: 
       Spanish for Korbin

Korbin and Lacey just finished their Cross Country season. While it continues on longer, our team does not continue past September. Those practices were Tuesday/Thursday, with meets on Saturdays. It was such a great season! Lacey only ran a couple of meets. Her allergies began to flare up, so she couldn't do very many. 

 

Korbin went from a sedentary summer (once he got home from Philmont) to running 5k's. He improved to the point of medaling at one of the meets. He was happy with his improvements. The last meet was a bit of a disaster since I talked him into attending an ice cream social the night before. His fellow teammate who also attended the party tried to tell him not to eat any ice cream, but Korbin felt confident that he'd be just fine. He was not. Most of the race he did well. He was cheered on and encouraged by his teammates, who were spectators, to pass up the guy nearby. He decided to take him on the last hill before the finish line, as he is good at running up hills. His stomach began the protest as he ran up the hill. As he ran by our team's tent at the top of the hill, he was obviously not doing well. I was videotaping when I quickly realized he was not going to make it. I ran for a bag and handed it off to him. There were so many people around- I didn't know what else to do. He did need it. After he finished the race, his coach said something that stuck with him and that I think he's proud of, "I'm impressed! I've never seen a runner throw up and pass a guy at the same time!" I'm so glad he has a sense of humor about the whole thing. 

This month we plan to camp each weekend. (Cub Scouts, Cross Country team, Tabernacles, AHG) Jeff will remain home for some of those, since he has to work. I hope the weather holds out. I love camping- but not in freezing rain.

We completed our first camping trip this weekend with our cub scout pack. Korbin decided to spend the weekend with a friend instead. Jeff slept at home and just came up Saturday, since we were close-by. We had so much fun, and the weather was perfect. The first night started out terrible, though. I did not plan the trip as well as I usually do; I had a very underdeveloped list. Then, on top of that, I told the kids they were responsible for picking up after themselves before we could leave. (The kitchen/living room was a wreck.) What made this different is that instead of talking about it or yelling or helping them finish, I only waited. I was at the point of getting out a book when they finally pooled together to accomplish a clean house. (Keep in mind the kitchen/living room is 1/2 of the house.) When that got done, we left and completed the grocery shopping. By the time we got there it was getting dark. We got the tent set up pretty fast and then I started to get dinner ready. Unfortunately, I didn’t check the camp stove after we dropped it in the move. It was busted. So we had cereal for dinner. That upset Lacey, so I yelled at her, which made her cry. She would have cried herself to sleep had I not come to talk to her after I ate my cereal. Jeff brought me a new stove the next morning, but I honestly didn’t even need it. We purchased firewood (which was hidden in the dark 2 sites over from me and would have been great that first night) and just cooked the (buffalo) hotdogs at lunch and burgers for dinner over the open fire. This camping trip, Maddox’s den was responsible for planning, shopping for, cooking and cleaning up for one meal. They chose burgers. There are only 2 boys in the den, but they did a good job of working together to get it done. Saturday, overall, was very relaxing and restful. I was very thankful for the low-key atmosphere our pack creates. There are just a few boys, but that allows for laid-back camping, which is just my style. We started with a mid-morning hike, worked on our whittling chip, and finished up a few other requirements. The boys decided on their own skits for campfire, and played at the park. I got some reading and research done (my happy place), and Jeff did some fishing, fire building, and took a nap. Lacey fished with dad, hiked, and played in the park with her friend, another sister from the pack. Kailyn recognized a friend from AHG Academy (a yearly training she attended this August) and spent a lot of time hanging out with her. Jessica’s troop was camping right down the road from us, so Kailyn got to sit in on the work they did on “God and Family,” which we are getting ready to start with her, and perhaps a couple other girls from our troop.  Saturday night she led the pack in campfire songs.

When we got ready to leave camp Sunday morning, I had everyone pack his/her own stuff. ALL of it. Mom didn’t roll anyone’s sleeping bag or cot or fold the extra tent. For the first time ever. It was nice, but it took awhile. Everyone checked on us before leaving, but I assured them as soon as Maddox folded his tent we’d be on our way. No problem. Until the car wouldn't start. Kailyn ran down to Jessica’s site and her mom, Susan, came down and gave us a jump. The nice British Columbian couple from the site next door also lent a hand. I headed straight to AutoZone, which honored their warranty and I got a free battery!

Last week we scaled back. We had been working hard for 6 weeks, and in the past I have taken “Sabbath” weeks. Instead of taking a complete break this 7th week, we just did foreign language and our history/literature/bible curriculum. (Maddox and Lacey got off for the week.) I needed the break. My brain was mush, and it allows me the time I need to plan campouts and prepare for my new class.

I’m very excited about this class. I will be learning the basics of homeopathic medicine. I have used homeopathy with major success in the past with the aid of a good book and lots of research. I’m looking forward to the instruction I’ll receive and hope to gain much knowledge as the weeks progress. For any unfamiliar with homeopathy, I will not explain it now- I’m sure I would not get it right. I’ll save that for another post. 

Kailyn is taking private sign language lessons from a lovely woman who is deaf, who is just wonderful! I am so proud of Kailyn for her drive to learn sign and her ability to dive right in. She definitely needs to practice more, but as that becomes more apparent to her, I can see her improving in that area. Korbin just began taking Spanish classes this year. He is in a class with 3 other boys guys about his age and is really enjoying it. Spanish and ASL are the two languages Jeff is most interested in, as he comes in contact with those customers most often. (Ok, not so many deaf customers, but his desire to communicate with them is great.) Yesterday when we arrived at the home of Kailyn’s teacher, her husband was outside and we got to meet him. He is also deaf, and used FaceTime to let his wife know we had arrived. He shared with us how wonderful technology has been for the deaf community, with the advent of texting and FaceTime. No doubt! It was so cool to see them just communicate with no problem! (He signed “c-o-o-l” when explaining his feelings on the technology.) The drive is far, but I feel that it is worth my time.

Lacey and Maddox have been riding their bikes often now that the weather has cooled off. I am so glad to see that! In our old neighborhood, we didn’t let them ride too often, as there were so many cars that it was hard for them to enjoy themselves safely. Now they race and go all over the place. As they are able to stretch their legs at home, I feel like they are stepping up more readily to get their chores done. I plan to work on a list of chore assignments, so that I'm not arbitrarily barking out a to-do list all the time. For the time being, however, they are just doing things as they come up. The compost needs to be taken out almost daily, as do the cat litter, laundry, and recycling. (The list is forming as I write.) When these four things get done each day, it keeps things fairly manageable. On Fridays I like to do the housecleaning. I like to think of it as a preparation day to rest on Saturday. I have a detailed list that we work on as a family on that day. We can knock out the entire RV from top to bottom in about an hour. I am finding there are things I will need to add to the list to be done monthly or even every two months, such as cleaning the outer surface of the unit, and other things I can't think of right now. 

Organizing is an on-going process. Here are some before and after pictures so that you can see some progress.

The basement:

I have since turned the shoe racks around to keep the shoes from slipping off. Now they hit the wall and stay put. The chair cushions fit well between the racks, which keeps the dew off of them so that we can sit outside with a decaf coffee on nice mornings. 

The closet:

 

Removing the divided rack made a huge difference! Now we can slide items over to reach the shelves in the back of the closet, as well as keep things in better order.

The bed:

 

When the cat destroyed the mattress it forced us to replace it rather than talk about replacing it. The Purple mattress is what I chose. It came in that purple roll pictured. I am perfectly happy with it, but I don't think Jeff is convinced it's the best one for him. It is very heavy, so it may not be the best for an RV situation. The bed will not stay upright when opened anymore- I could replace the hydraulic hinges, but I'm still considering how to handle it.

Here's a little clip I just found that Maddox shot. It was after a den meeting, before dad got home with everyone else from cross country: